The Sins of the Mind

It didn’t occur to him that it was action that inspired motivation and not the other way around, his plane of thought struggling to fight against itself in a bid to overcome lengthy periods of procrastination, compounded even worse by holding the very thoughts about not procrastinating. It was a battle he fought everyday, winning some, loosing some, and consoling himself that by the time his journey as a mortal would come to an end, hopefully he would have won the war.

He wasn’t afraid of death, he looked at it like a technical problem.

That’s all it was.

In spite of human kind’s progresses through computer science (algorithms) and biotechnology, we still have not understood how the electrochemical algorithms inside our brains processed by firing neurons and generating dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and cortisol among other brain chemicals, managed to produce consciousness and subjective experiences like the burgeoning human imagination, that was capable of visualizing anything, from the most raunchy sex to the sweet joy of accomplishing victory at battle or even gory things like cutting open a human body and spill its entrails all over the floor. Right now, as he was thinking, he was visualizing the happy union between himself and the lady by whom he was swooned by.

He wasn’t a big fan of biology, simply because he had stopped studying its topics after he was fifteen years old. The most interesting bit had been human reproduction, that had to be self-studied because for some mysterious reason his teacher had failed to turn up, and on being prodded upon about its relevance in the forthcoming exams, the questions had been comfortably ignored. Such a pity, the country’s older generations had been up to no good, he wondered how they had passed the time of day when distractions had been relatively few and far in between two or three decades ago.

He had picked up Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics, with a bit of computer science in high school. He now wished, he could go back to high school, because he would be keener, curiouser and raring to understand the fundamentals of these subjects all over again, convinced that he hadn’t been as serious as he should have ought to be. It was fine though, he could rely on edx. Ah, the wonder of massive online open courses.

Just yesterday, as he had dragged long on his vape, swearing and promising to himself profusely that he would try his best to control his dopamine urges going forwards, he had also resolved to embark on a nutritional and fitness program, so that he could evolve in a better way, and thereby increase his chances of of creating a better frame of mind, which thereby would increase his chances of learning new skills tailored to the knowledge economy, and in time find great mates.

The more he thought about it, the more it seemed as if he had it all figured out, except for the voice inside his head that seemed to want him to subject his body to every instantly gratifying endeavor possible. He would have to rein it in, right now.

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